Where Have All The Dad's Departed To and What is the Cost ...

In a new study from the US Census Bureau, the percent of children born to unmarried women hit nearly 37 percent in the U. S., up from about 31 percent in 2005. The number of children living apart from their fathers has more than doubled in the last fifty years, from 11 percent in 1960 to 27 percent in 2010. According to the Pew Research Center analysis of the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG), more than one-in-four fathers with children 18 or younger do not live with their child(ren).

With this statistic comes a myriad of problems afflicting individuals and communities alike. Single parenthood is a large predictor of poverty, simply because it costs less to raise a child in a two parent home. The cost of raising children under the age of eight for single parent families ranged from $12,450 to $14,250 with many on public assistance. The cost of raising a child in a two-family home is approximately half this cost.

The absence of significant fatherhood involvement and engagement can have a profound effect on the quality and quantity of early experiences for a child that can affect lifelong disparities in health and wellness and impact community dollars. The brain architecture has been proven to be a foundation for overall learning, development, behavior, and health of a child. Research shows increased neural development of children in nurturing, positive, two-parent supported environments. Ensuring children have positive experiences early in life is less costly than later remediation programs for delinquency, drugs, alcohol, and counseling. Community and family support for fatherhood generates a strong return on investment economically and supports the reduction of cost in health disparities for tomorrow?s adults.

We asked a panel of people to tell us what they think fathers offer, and here are some key thoughts:

• Fathers define a sense of community, steering interest in community events, outdoors, sports or athletics. Children tend to emulate parents in their own family and their involvement in community later on in life which can result in fewer coaches, less offered activities, and less emphasis on active participation in community events.
• Fathers provide structure and resources to support their children that lasts a lifetime.
• Fathers define roles, relationships, and boundaries much different than mothers do.
• Fathers have a direct impact on the morals of children and community that will affect our future.
• Fathers often teach children how to behave by following through.
• Fathers are a different type of role model for our youth than mothers are.

Is the loss of fatherhood involvement one of the evident tragedies of our times? Have we seriously overlooked the huge impact involved fathers have on their children? Have we chosen to focus on a tug of war in what rights they have, simply because they offer different things than women offer to their children? Prejudice from courts to maternal grandparents have kept many fathers from successfully engaging with their child. As early as birth, a child bonds to both their parents in equal ways. If a father misses early opportunities to be with their child during this stage, a child may become fussy and reject attempts to connect, putting fathers who await long court battles at a very big disadvantage resulting in a loss for both father and child.

It seems we expect fathers to be ?doers? when a child is born rather than just take some time to be with their baby. Those facing unplanned pregnancy may not be in a place to be ?doers,? especially if it is a young father. Society benefits if we help fathers nourish successful involvement with their child from the start in the same way we do for our young mothers. If we afford a mother community supports and education, and allow them to take the necessary time to spend with their child during the adjustment to motherhood, we should offer men the same until some life skills and structures begin to develop.

Who is to say a young man should be rejected because he is not ready to be the full bread winner at the moment of an unplanned pregnancy. His lost opportunities to bond and attach to his child increases the risk of not staying engaged in his child?s life and negatively impacts the child?s development. Men are not always going to be anything more than ?manly? raising their child, and research shows this is biologically evident for optimal human development when both a man and a woman have a lifelong successful relationship with a child. Even the way that a man handles an infant helps that child?s neurodevelopment. It?s in the great design to have the influence of a father or father figure and a mother or mother figure. Let?s make every effort to support the success of our fathers and not banish them from parenthood or chase them away with messages on unsuccessful ?fatherdom? because of immaturity, personal vendettas, or inability to know what to do.

Many communities across the United States have begun to recognize the value of successful fatherhood and have advocated and supported efforts to increase fatherhood engagement. The National Fatherhood Initiative offers a directory for cities and state fatherhood programs and can be found at: www.fatherhood.org/directory.

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About the author: Sandi Allison View all posts by Sandi Allison

Sandi Allison is an entrepreneur and business owner. She has a long carer providing family consultation and professional training. She has pursued her Master?s degree in Health and Safety in hopes to continue to apply a well rounded focus of counseling, education, and health related influences in her work and writing.

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Source: http://theamericanwomanmagazine.com/2013/06/29/where-have-all-the-dads-departed-to-and-what-is-the-cost/

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